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BP_Gulf

  1. It's not fair that oil is being compared to coffee on YouTube. #bpcoffeespill
  2. X Prize for cleaning up the oil. Time to bring out the actual equipment and win some money. #bpmoney #xprize
  3. @OilTweets24 well that's not our problem they aren't native. We're ready to clean up those non-native animals.
  4. @Oil_Spill_2010 that's not what our original contingency papers said we submitted to the government. I think Biologist Dr. Lutz would know.
  5. @BP_America youre finally manning your twitter account. Thank god, Tonys made a mess of things and our Better Propaganda team cant keep up.
  6. The LMRP cap "successfully" reinstalled on blow-out preventer at approx. 6:30pm CST on 6/23 (via @BP_America) But it still isnt capping shit
  7. There are now 30 teams of wildlife specialists working in Gulf. See oiled wildlife? (via @BP_America) Is Dr. Lutz's zombie there too?
  8. RT @Oil_Spill_2010 Response Plan to protect sea turtle nests and hatchlings released (via @BP_America) What about the sea lions? #bpcares
  9. Capture yesterday was 22, next week should increase to 40-53K per day. We'll still be making money. (via @BP_America)
  10. @BP_America you keep talking about paying claims. Don't worry we're still heading up the "not actually paying the small people" department.
  11. We encourage everyone to buy BP stock, help buy it so the bosses can sell there's before it's too late. #bpgoldenparachute
  12. You know we always thought that since our company was there at the begining of oil production we'd see the end of it in 2030 too. #bpsunset
  13. Fitch has downgraded our stock to BBB, that's junk bond status. It's all the liberal media's fault. We'll sue them later. #bpstock #fitch
  14. Time to start a new week of not capping the oil well. Hell we have no real incentive to. #bpvacuums
  15. We decided to take a break from all of out almost sucesses and reward ourselves with a movie. Toy Story 3 to be exact.
  16. I don't know if Tony will lose his job. But we have houses made of solid gold for execs that resign. #bpmoney
  17. We moved Tony off the project. But it's cool, it had nothing to do with him looking like a d-bag. #bpscrewup
  18. Since we're in the US Tony figures he can pick up some chicks at the bar using his accent. We agree, most Americans don't watch the news.
  19. These politicians kept mentioning British Petroleum. We have no idea who they're talking about. We're BP PLC. #bplawyersup
  20. Tony needs to use the, "if there were no cops and you're sure you'd never get caught would you steal a Ferrari," defense. #bpdefense