ArtichokeNews
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Florida State ruling: Judges, lawyers must unfriend on Facebook. Judges worry they won't be allowed to exchange gifts on FarmVille either.
4:34 PM Dec 11th
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Removed from Accenture.com, Woods to take indefinite break from pro game. Pundits speculate on cause: too many porn stars, too little time?
4:07 PM Dec 11th
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WHO: Smoking kills 5 million per year. Big Tobacco executives fear for their jobs -- for not reaching their yearly goal of 6 million deaths.
9:24 AM Dec 9th
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Hubble Space Telescope spots several thousand new galaxies. Meanwhile on earth, tabloids spot several dozen new Tiger Woods honies.
10:35 PM Dec 8th
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After crashing White House, Salahis refuse invite to House Committee hearing, confirm claim they only attend events they're not invited to.
9:16 PM Dec 7th
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Historic EPA finding: Greenhouse gases harm humans. Historic human finding: EPA wastes millions to "find" what everybody else already knew.
8:41 PM Dec 7th
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Tiger attends intensive marriage therapy. Elin ready to forgive - if he upgrades prenup AND changes name to Cheetah Woods.
9:48 PM Dec 3rd
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L'Oreal heiress showers friend with gifts worth $1.5 billion; daughter presses charges, asks why; accused man replies: Because I'm worth it.
9:26 AM Dec 2nd
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Couple denies crashing White House state dinner, or being self-promoting social climbers -- like the rest of the DC elite who were invited.
11:36 AM Dec 1st
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After shady car accident, secretive Tiger Woods withdraws from own tourney, citing unspecified injuries -- mainly to squeaky-clean image.
3:28 PM Nov 30th
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In continuing series of unfortunate events, Saab - born from jets, later adopted by disfunctional GM - now rejected by Swedish foster home.
5:19 PM Nov 24th
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Dem Senator Schumer says "failure not an option" on health care, confirms that speaking with dumb clichés definitely remains an option.
8:18 PM Nov 23rd
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Super model Helena Christensen photographs climate change in Peru. Meanwhile, Peruvian men get steamed up with Helena Christensen photos.
8:26 PM Nov 18th
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Palin book reveals McCain camp prevented her from giving a concession speech, maybe after they read its title: "You're Welcome, Mr. Obama."
1:29 PM Nov 13th
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NASA finds water on the moon, boosting hopes of a permanent lunar base. Coca Cola, Anheuser-Busch line up as potential official sponsors.
11:54 AM Nov 13th
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Balloon boy parents plead guilty, face jail time. Reality show changes name -- from "The Storm Chasing Heenes" to "The Ass Covering Heenes."
11:17 AM Nov 13th
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Burger King franchisees sue chain for $1 burger. Company responds by changing tagline from: "Have it your way," to: "My way or the highway."
10:41 AM Nov 13th
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Recession sparks global shoplifting spree, most retailers worried. Not worried, though: cocky, clueless Microsoft retail store managers.
2:38 PM Nov 12th
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Tiny evolutionary mutation led to 'language gene': Scientists now eager to reverse mutation in hopes to shut up Jay Leno.
11:06 AM Nov 11th
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Goldman Sachs increases outrageous salaries, gets H1N1 vaccine before hospitals. Pundits all rush to condemn, send their resumes to, GS.
10:41 AM Nov 11th
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- Name ArtichokeNews
- Location Los Angeles, California
- Web http://www.plurib...
- Bio Tweet-sized News with a Prickly Heart. (NOT headlines, but fully self-contained, real news with a comedic twist)
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