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AndyDulman

  1. Anybody have any new, fun versions of carpet/curtain pubic hair jokes? I'd love to put one in my comedy screenplay!
  2. email if you want some of my iPhone photos of yesterdays eclipse, i got like 4
  3. Shit I forgot to feed my Twitter.
  4. I want to own the list, the actual prop, from Schindler's List. Bet it's just a wrinkled script tho
  5. "There's Something About Marijuana" is my screening idea/gift to stoners. You're welcome, get off my couch.
  6. I need to stop watching Monkeybone.
  7. "The dinosaurs were right." - Jurassic Park: The Prequel
  8. Adrenal Sunrise vs. Ordinary Mammary #battleoftheglands
  9. Just met a girl with the captioned tattoo: A large Egyptian Ankh and around it "The Body Remembers". That is my entire tweet, thanks.
  10. I'm opening an Oxygen Bar for Dogs. #LA
  11. None of my Anorexic friends will go with me to watch Hunger Games.
  12. It's not easy being drunk in the morning. -Kermit
  13. Does Sketchers make Shape-Ups that don't say Shape-Ups?
  14. Tonight, I'm pregnant with alcohol.
  15. I want to cry loudly in a grocery store to see if I can still own it.
  16. "If you're a bird, I'm a bird" is less romantic between two birds.
  17. Take a moment and picture all the world leaders eating lunchables pizza.
  18. Chase called me suspecting my credit card was stolen. They don't believe I would ever go to the nearby Whole Foods.
  19. Everything at Del Taco contains at least a little bit of glass cleaner.
  20. Everything I learned about sex I learned from a stop motion animation.