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AmyJane

  1. @jborrero I wonder where she gets that?
  2. Can you just buy a fixie or do you have to make your own, like a lightsaber?
  3. The Bob Dylan Christmas album sounds like an old Saturday Night Live skit.
  4. Jonas to my grandfather, who is in a new nursing home: "You're pretty lucky, Papa, because there's a graveyard next door for when you die."
  5. @shellen I'm actually allergic to turkey and until I was 16 my mom boiled a hot dog for me on Thanksgiving. Have to be honest, not so great.
  6. @ceolaf I remember thinking during my kid's birth: "Unless you're opening an umbrella UP YOUR ASS, I don't think so."
  7. @ceolaf I know! But I specialize in the cocaine material. "Look in the hole! There might be a snake! Look in the hole!"
  8. You can have your sexy vampires. Last night I had a dream about pygmy mermen. And I have to be honest, I'm still freaked out about it.
  9. @ceolaf "It's not free, it costs you your house. It should be called home basing."
  10. I can recite EVERY WORD of Robin WIlliams "A Night at the Met".
  11. I just had something called "margarita wine". The suburbs are nutty!
  12. That's not a euphemism, either. These people take their mailboxes seriously.
  13. If you want to live in the suburbs, you best be ready to BRING IT when it comes to your mailbox. Some sexy motherfucking mailboxes out here.
  14. "I know I look a little homeless right now…" "Actually, you look like @hotdogsladies. Or maybe more 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'."
  15. @CcSteff My dad and sister were in a diner in Alabama. My sister ordered a salad. The waitress asked, "Are y'all from another country?"
  16. @csborrero John was all, "I think Carrie's out by herself at night at a movie." We were alarmed. I hope you didn't hurt anyone.
  17. @jborrero Seriously, dude. He's not just a hot guy. HE IS THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. And I agree with C-BO, bad picture.
  18. John will often use links from me for his Linked List but he's totally snubbing Johnny Depp's "Sexiest Man Alive" win.
  19. My husband knows not to fuck with me if I've had a couple of drinks and I'm listening to "El Scorcho" on repeat. I like that about him.
  20. Do we still do the First World Problems thing? Because seriously, my Weezer Snuggie's on backorder.