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AmberTozer

  1. Unsolicited Time Announcement: It's 4:03 pm in Hawaii about 3 hours ago via web
  2. 2nd date tip: Tell them everything they did wrong on the 1st date. Life is short. about 4 hours ago via web
  3. If I was a bird the 1st thing I'd do is shit on everyone on my "If I was a bird I'd shit on these people" list. The 2nd thing I'd do is soar about 6 hours ago via Twitter for Android
  4. This is fun. Thank you @laughspincom #nitTWITS - tweets turned into sketches & mini movies - featured here: laughspin.com/2012/05/25/inn… about 10 hours ago via web
  5. Invention:Real Mood Swing-You sit & swing on it then laugh & cry & get mad it sounds awful maybe the porn industry could use it for fun vids about 10 hours ago via web
  6. My last tweet had 140 F's in it. I hope you liked it. Also, you gotta see this it's based on a true story: youtube.com/watch?v=Y3w8zE… about 11 hours ago via web
  7. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF about 11 hours ago via web
  8. I wrote this @nitTWITStv sketch it's called NICE GLADES. @XMASWARMACHINE cries & I try to be nice but not too nice: youtube.com/watch?v=Y3w8zE… 7:02 PM May 24th via web
  9. @fatsteve 4 people have. Hello to you! 5:20 PM May 24th via web in reply to fatsteve
  10. Sometimes when I'm pumping gas I'll straddle the nozzle & pretend I'm a dude peeing into my car. So far only 2 people have asked me about it 5:01 PM May 24th via web
  11. Queen Latifah teach me how to be a stronger woman come on it's Thursday afternoon what else are you gonna do 2:13 PM May 24th via web
  12. I flex my right arm hard when I'm scrubbin a toilet, givin a fast hand job, holdin an obese baby, & draggin passed out people to the garbage 1:50 PM May 24th via web
  13. Give this a listen you effin psychotic babies!! Sexy sounding voices of men will inform you: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/lau… 1:47 PM May 24th via web
  14. Thanks for responding to "How does social media make you feel?" The data shows that the #1 response: FEARFUL #2: SHUNNED #3: DICK PICS 11:15 AM May 24th via web
  15. I'll RT a few more answers to "How does social media make you feel?" then I'm gonna scrub dead skin off my body w/some stuff my mom gave me. 10:58 AM May 24th via web
  • Name AmberTozer
  • Bio Life is dumb, but I'm excited to be here. Oh, and I'm the co-creator of @nitTWITStv and I write for Laughspin.com
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