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alyssasharpe

  1. Mariah Carey, Alicia Keyes, Beyonce. The best. 11:58 PM Oct 24th from txt
  2. Can't deny it, can't pretend, just thought you were the one. Swallow me then spit me out. Sigh. Still you won't get to see... Yep. Kelly clk 11:51 PM Oct 23rd from txt
  3. Jason mraz is a cancer. Agh. 9:20 AM Oct 15th from txt
  4. Rolling meadows police department asked me today if I had seen this escaped convict. He looks an awful lot like my boyfriend. 12:05 PM Sep 17th from txt
  5. Twitter sucks balls sometimes. 10:45 PM Sep 16th from txt
  6. There aint no rest for the wicked. Money don't grow on trees. 10:31 PM Jul 19th from txt
  7. I love starbucks treat receipts. What can I say? Best thing ever. 5:38 AM Jul 15th from txt
  8. What a great day for bbq's. Fucking july showers don't bring august flowers. Chicago sucks. 2:45 PM Jul 4th from txt
  9. 21 hour trip back home: Journey. I wanna be there in my city... 5:38 PM Jun 21st from txt
  10. Now family karaoke to journey. We really need more things we can all agree on. 1:38 PM Jun 19th from txt
  11. I'm watching journey greatest hits with my family. Seriously awesome, not gonna lie. 12:26 PM Jun 19th from txt
  12. Can I tell you a secret? I hate mountains. 2:43 PM Jun 13th from txt
  13. I'm kinda wondering if he we could wait to reach Kentucky before the rest stop stopping totals 5. Uh no. 10:31 AM Jun 13th from txt
  14. Roadtrip with mom. Journey, Chicago, Boston, and Genesis. Talking politics. I am my mom with more vices. I need a cig. 9:15 AM Jun 13th from txt
  15. I'm drinking a bottle of wine. Packing for vacation. And wallowing in my own self pity. 11:27 PM Jun 11th from txt
  16. I'm in a parking lot. Surrounded by Latinos. Smoking a cigarette and blasting ashlee simpson. I'm cool. 3:11 PM Jun 2nd from txt
  17. This woman at the psychic store doesn't like my aura. 5:44 PM May 26th from txt
  18. My mom just told me in great detail, the story of when she and my dad had sex for the first time. 2:52 PM May 22nd from txt
  19. Hawks win! Best game I've ever been too! 9:13 PM May 11th from txt
  20. Pussy is much better than pussy galore. Lap dancing 101. 1:53 AM May 9th from txt