AlexisCJolly
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At some point every goateed fellow with a billowing t-shirt and super long shorts has an existential crisis &realizes he's wearing capris.
4:10 PM Apr 19th
via web
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Taxes: paid. One-way ticket to the Ecuadorian jungle: at hand.
1:09 PM Apr 12th
via web
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@ Reason #4: "When I put on this sweater after drinking, I feel sweaty. When I put it on after smoking, I feel like Gandalf."
12:44 PM Apr 9th
via web
in reply to COOLHAUS
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The school choir from Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall," 30 years later: "Would you like chips with that?"
12:40 PM Apr 9th
via web
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If I were an overly cautious vandal, I'd probably stick to spray painting things like "H20" and "Elec" by sidewalk construction sites.
8:07 AM Feb 23rd
via web
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Thx to @ Shoes' philosophy of global awareness, I finally understand the horrors of Chinese foot binding (man, these things are tight).
12:52 PM Jan 18th
via web
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When children are left unattended at the library, is it like at airports where you're supposed to take them to a safe zone and blow them up?
3:27 PM Nov 18th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Got myself a "total upper body workout bar" for the same price as a month at LA Fitness! Now I won't have to leave my apt to not work out.
1:39 PM Nov 17th, 2011
via web
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Congress declares pizza a vegetable. Ninja Turtles declare, "Suck it!"
8:25 AM Nov 16th, 2011
via web
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364 days of homelessness, joblessness, & drug addiction. 1 day where everybody says "thanks!" on their Facebook status. Veterans Day
10:45 PM Nov 11th, 2011
via web
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Hotels give you a free newspaper and charge for wifi. I wish a record label death for you.
8:07 PM Nov 4th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
from Manhattan, NY
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I start the day by pretending my bar of soap is a microphone. And my plugged in blowdryer is a loofah.
12:28 PM Oct 25th, 2011
via web
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I wish every store was like @. Run by kind, informed, and passionate folks. Who have giant hacksaws at hand, just in case.
9:23 AM Oct 19th, 2011
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Guessing the rich brats are behind the Because of Camp ads. The lovable misfits across the lake could never afford that kind of campaign.
11:56 AM Oct 14th, 2011
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@ Thanks. But I've got a tax-free Paul Simon fund all ready to go.
11:54 AM Oct 12th, 2011
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in reply to EvanRGolden
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The problem with wearing distinctive shoes to work is that everyone knows it's you in the bathroom stall drowning babies.
8:46 AM Sep 28th, 2011
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A French woman successfully sued her husband for lack of sex. As such, I am now filing suit against all women for the years 1998-2009.
10:18 AM Sep 16th, 2011
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"These regular headlights are all right. I just wish they could cause way more accidents." - The inventor of halogen headlights.
11:06 AM Sep 13th, 2011
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10 days to raise final $1k for a short I wrote. No promises, but I hear director @ has baby soft hands.
6:18 PM Sep 2nd, 2011
via web
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- Name Alexis C. Jolly
- Bio Ca$h4GoLd2dAy!!!!!
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