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United States
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alexblagg

  1. "I'm such a geek! I love nerd stuff!" - super cool way to tell the world you enjoy what everyone else now likes
  2. @julezmac Act Like A Vain Asshole, Think Like A Fat Piece of Shit
  3. "If I take my pants off now I'll have to put them back on when I want to get froyo in a few hours" - issue I just dealt with
  4. Articulate dumb people are the Holy Grail of eavesdropping.
  5. "Siri, where's the closest nearby cave where I can give birth to a smoke demon?" - Game of iPhones
  6. "Siri, where are my dragons?" -- Game of iPhones
  7. WRITER PRO TIP: A "red herring" is a literary device in which Gingers are killed solely for comic relief.
  8. Feel like I'm starting to meet my personal fitness goals. Ran outside without a shirt on today and didn't get arrested.
  9. They're called OPINIONS because that's just the word that we settled on as the English language evolved.
  10. More like Cuba GREATing Jr.
  11. @nickthune Don't know. Been doing sit-ups, though, so feeling like maybe I could take him in something.
  12. I'm probably only two or three years away from being able to kick Rickey Henderson's ass.
  13. One thing you should know about me is I'm such a FOODIE! (Just ate a Kraft Single I accidentally threw in the trash.)
  14. I bet a chronological list of everything I've "liked" on the Internet would read like a short story about a man falling apart.
  15. Whatever John Travolta did to those massage therapists = what I want to do to that new PT Anderson movie The Master.
  16. My "neighbor" policy is: You're the worst until proven tolerable.
  17. I don't see Clipse?
  18. Pistachios seem like the perviest nuts.
  19. I hate style.