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Oh Verizon you cut me to the quick. No Internet... Really?8:10 PM Nov 24thfrom txt
Did Mercury go retrograde and someone forget to tell me?!5:49 PM Nov 24thfrom txt
There should be a "penalty lane" for people who show up less then 30 min before departure.2:57 AM Nov 23rdfrom txt
Got to watch a truck rear end a parked car doing 2mph at 5:30am, now that's comedy.2:37 AM Nov 23rdfrom txt
I just had a panic attack as I paused my music player to look for my iPhone while in line for the boat- one and the same silly.2:22 AM Nov 23rdfrom txt
Hot shower, Vick's VapoRub and early beddy-bye time. That should kick the snot out of this cold.4:51 PM Nov 10thfrom txt
Still feeling like a pizza that has been left out in the rain but I am going to work anyway (maybe they'll send me home).3:42 AM Nov 10thfrom txt
I hate being sick. Good thing I have the world's best girlfriend to care for me.6:51 AM Nov 9thfrom txt
@Wesme actually primer white walls are just fine by me, but I figure it would be better, besides, this way his room won't be too girly.12:14 PM Nov 8thfrom txt
@Wesme it is crystal meth that has been powderized using the SlapChop. I love my ShamWow.6:03 PM Nov 6thfrom txt
@Wesme your momentum has probably gone off somewhere with mine to take a nap9:11 AM Nov 5thfrom txt
@Wesme I believe in public humiliation. Have him paged and stand there holding your belly.3:09 PM Nov 3rdfrom txt
Oh joy. Oh rapture. Two flat tires. I guess I'll just have to deal with it on Monday morning.3:56 PM Oct 30thfrom txt
Why am I so tired? Oh that's right I didn't sleep much last night.3:22 AM Oct 30thfrom txt