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Aimee_B_Loved

  1. @gqinict And THIS is why you're on my shit list. about 8 hours ago from web in reply to gqinict
  2. "I always took you as the swallowing type of gal..." I always took this as a compliment. about 9 hours ago from web
  3. @Bagyants OH YEAH! STAR IT SO GOOD! Or something like that... about 12 hours ago from web in reply to Bagyants
  4. I'm writing a song about people with badly chapped lips. I'm calling it "Carmex Police". about 12 hours ago from web
  5. Imagine how loose the Hamburger Helper Man's girlfriend is. about 13 hours ago from Brizzly
  6. @worldwarmike YAY! *happy dance* about 15 hours ago from web in reply to worldwarmike
  7. Every so often, I look at my timeline and think, "Holy shit! It's Spider-Man!" But no, it's @worldwarmike. about 17 hours ago from web
  8. SCIENTISTS OF THE WORLD: Please figure out a way for one to drink coffee while taking a shower. That'd really kick my morning in the ass. about 19 hours ago from txt
  9. Sex rehab centers seem like good places to meet guys. about 19 hours ago from Brizzly
  10. @kbaxter They aren't MY Chiefs. I'm a Colts fan. But I'll pass the word along. about 19 hours ago from web in reply to kbaxter
  11. @gqinict I'm still going to send you a pony. 9:38 PM Nov 22nd from web in reply to gqinict
  12. @kbaxter Actually a pair of monsters - my thighs. *sad trombone* 9:36 PM Nov 22nd from web in reply to kbaxter
  13. Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this story "Tale of the Cellulite Thighs". 8:09 PM Nov 22nd from web
  14. Really? Forty FarmVille requests? My friends need hobbies that don't involve "send gift" buttons. 7:44 PM Nov 22nd from web
  15. Tony Romo is the only player in the NFL with "vibrating game day jockstrap" written into his contract. 12:51 PM Nov 22nd from web
  16. FACT: Between plays, Tony Romo warms his hands in his vagina. 12:38 PM Nov 22nd from web
  17. @LiamPan Ha! Thanks, but I'm no professional comedian. Not even an amateur one. 11:11 AM Nov 22nd from web in reply to LiamPan
  18. OMG! My cell phone is so awesome! I just found out it can make calls, too! 11:06 AM Nov 22nd from web
  19. @gqinict It's simply classic. :P 12:44 AM Nov 22nd from web in reply to gqinict
  20. God. Country line dancing is so retarded. KICK! KICK! SCOOT! KICK! KICK! BEAT YOUR WIFE! KICK! KICK! VOTE REPUBLICAN! SCOOT! 12:43 AM Nov 22nd from web