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AcimanandRensin

  1. And that concludes this week's edition of "Uncomfortable Glimpses Into Stephenie Meyer's Masturbatory Fantasies" 10:46 AM Nov 26th from web
  2. Good thing this happened. Otherwise it would just have been a 40 yr old me, a bottle of cheap wine, and a whole bag of issues. 10:45 AM Nov 26th from web
  3. @YoungGirls If a guy is hot enough, it’s OK if he’s also a bloodsucking creep Completely subordinate yourself and accommodate him. Worth it. 10:44 AM Nov 26th from web
  4. My life lately has been a bit like a lonely girl’s slightly creepy juvenile sex fantasy. But at least it really happened!!! 9:50 AM Nov 26th from web
  5. Since he is a vampire and I am a human, we’ll have to work at our relationship. I am ready to make sacrifices, tho not BE sacrificed. Clear? 9:44 AM Nov 26th from web
  6. Oh, what do I tell my family? You can’t introduce a vampire the same way you introduce an artist or a vagrant. 9:32 AM Nov 26th from web
  7. I hope he doesn’t bite during sex, that would really suck. 9:32 AM Nov 26th from web
  8. The bad vamp managed to bite me but my guy took him out and cured me. That was resolved quickly. Well, now we can be together. 9:17 AM Nov 26th from web
  9. A bad vampire tried to kill me. He threatened to murder my mother, too. See? There IS some action in this story. 9:04 AM Nov 26th from web
  10. He says he’s part of a no-killing-humans club. I hope he’s not just saying this to get me into bed. 8:59 AM Nov 26th from web
  11. I like him ’cause he can read everybody’s mind, but not mine. Maybe if he stopped staring at my tits … I don’t care. He’s so dreamy. 8:49 AM Nov 26th from web
  12. Today I asked if he only liked me because of my tits. He said no, it’s the smell of my blood. FML. 8:47 AM Nov 26th from web
  13. Pretty boy is a vampire. A bit obvious, but I still I feel such a hormonal pull. He’s pure pussy magnet. 8:39 AM Nov 26th from web
  14. Hey, anyone know what disease causes frigid skin, no need for food, and fear of light? Vitiligo universalis, like MJ had? Or is it death? 8:33 AM Nov 26th from web
  15. So I’m out walking and BAM, a car almost runs me over except that my new ‘friend’ shoves it out of the way with his bare hands. 8:28 AM Nov 26th from web
  16. I knew it. He just wants to be friends. (Notice how our relationship now seems unique for that reason.) 8:28 AM Nov 26th from web
  17. His face burns in my mind, and his hands seem crafted by God himself. I surrender. 8:19 AM Nov 26th from web
  18. He makes vulgar, offensive faces at me with his wanton, profound eyes. It’s a cliché for me to fall. But why fight it? He is so very fine. 8:18 AM Nov 26th from web
  19. Wow, I’m all of a sudden really popular! This is a twist on the popular trope, isn’t it? Oh, except this TOTALLY HOT guy says I smell bad. 8:06 AM Nov 26th from web
  20. I’m a teenage girl hoping to make friends at a new school in a new town. This should be fascinating! Oh, the weather sucks. 8:06 AM Nov 26th from web
  • Name AcimanandRensin
  • Location USA
  • Web http://tiny.cc/rsqgK
  • Bio Alex Aciman & Emmett Rensin. We're the authors of Twitterature, published by Penguin Books
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