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Australia
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Canada
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United Kingdom
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Indonesia
  • 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland
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India
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Jordan
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New Zealand
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United States
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Joe280576

  1. Greaseproof paper would not stand up in a court of law. 11:14 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  2. My sensitive toothpaste gets very defensive. 3:51 PM Apr 10th via Twitter for iPhone
  3. Every time I buy a duvet it gets me down. 11:37 AM Apr 8th via Twitter for iPhone
  4. Went to get my shoes back after bowling & they gave me red stilettos which were obviously not mine (because i was wearing an orange dress). 3:41 PM Apr 4th via Twitter for iPhone
  5. When you're rolling down the motorway you really need hard shoulders. Or a car. 4:33 AM Apr 1st via Twitter for iPhone
  6. Growing things on the end of your legs is a feat. 3:40 AM Apr 1st via Twitter for iPhone
  7. All the snails have to travel on the escargo deck. 7:29 AM Mar 24th via Twitter for iPhone
  8. Chancer of the Exchequer more like it. 5:26 AM Mar 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  9. Ok rock stars that insist on standing with your back to the audience, you look very silly, stop it or you will have to face the music. 8:59 AM Mar 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  10. If I had a pound for every time someone gave me a tenner, I'd be quite disappointed. 4:37 AM Mar 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  11. If in future they do clone people, lookalike competitions are going to be crap. Are the scientific community really thinking this through? 11:58 AM Mar 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  12. I know we should love our bodies the way they are but i'd give my right hand to look more symmetrical. 1:53 AM Mar 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  13. I've decided not to enter the olympics this year. 11:06 AM Mar 5th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. If you're going to make a request at a gig, please give it some thought. Someone asked me to play something "by the bootleg beatles". 9:36 AM Jan 12th via Twitter for iPhone
  15. Apparently i have to download 2012 updates for my phone. Why so many? 7:58 AM Jan 7th via Twitter for iPhone