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99andBarry

  1. @msteciuk If you use toe nails, it goes quicker.
  2. @jmecab Palin's sexy until you see her, hear her speak, read about her, or are in any way exposed to the concept of her.
  3. According to Geoffrey Dunn, Sarah Palin's new arctic sport is the Iquitarod. http://bit.ly/qFDW1
  4. Palin running mate predictions: John Ashcroft? Arnold Schwarzenegger? The rotting corpse of Strom Thurmond?
  5. RT @jonathancoulton: Amazing video, 64 fans on webcams: http://bit.ly/o9Rcp (via waxy.org)
  6. Later, daughter said, "Daddy, why is the knee of your pants all wet?" Me: "What the...? Oops. That's blood."
  7. @Monkfishy Yes, opening the water heater box. Ker-slash!
  8. In the ER with a nice gash in my knee. Other than that, it's been a rotten day. http://twitpic.com/9av9c
  9. Homo Depot wanted $480 to install a water heater. I told the wife I'd do it for $300. (btw, Homo Depot is right next to Gaymart)
  10. I'm gonna miss moments like these after she get smart and jaded.
  11. 4-yr-old wearing a tiger mask. Me: "Aah! There's a tiger!" Her, taking off the mask, giggling: "Daddy, it's just me with a tiger mask!"
  12. @arleigh There's a charming little parade in Niwot, if you don't mind traveling back in time 100 years.
  13. @arleigh Banana peels? That's so 2008. Mine is powered by the tides.
  14. Streaming music from my home computer to my iPhone. That's right. You heard me. I LIVE IN THE FUTURE!
  15. Busted water heater = crape diem (Latin for "shit on my day")
  16. Last month: $1k in car repairs. Today: water heater gave out. Another $400. Universe 2, Barry 0.
  17. Sarah Palin, the face of the new Republican Party. Also the hips and ass of the new Republican Party.
  18. I pray every night that Sarah Palin will run for president. With me now..."Dear lord, we beseech thee..."
  19. I'm broadcasting my live Stickam stream at http://stickam.com/99andbarry started: Fri, 11:05 PDT
  20. We're on the air in 10 minutes: http://bit.ly/5JZru We'll pay tribute to a great musician: Ed McMahon. Also, music by Farrah and Billy Mays.