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79protons
And now I'm poking holes in the bottom of all the chocolates to see which one I want.about 19 hours agofrom Twitterrific
When nobody is around, evaluate shape and weight of box. Shake it. Then carefully open a little corner of the wrapping paper and peek in.about 21 hours agofrom Twitterrific
Holiday tip: Planting Whoppie cushions around the house makes a great decoy.7:36 PM Dec 22ndfrom web
My neighbor thinks he's so hot with his fancy snowblower. Next big snowfall comes, I'm breaking out the flamethrower...I win!11:37 AM Dec 22ndfrom Twitterrific
Slipping and falling on the ice is bad, but having both hands in your pockets on the way down really sucks.6:36 AM Dec 22ndfrom Twitterrific
If you didn't want me to call you then you shouldn't have left your number in the display phone at the AT&T store. So, what are you wearing?10:36 AM Dec 21stfrom Twitterrific
I lay down in the shower because there is no chair in there7:13 PM Dec 20thfrom web
I went to hang up my coat and there were a bunch of skeletons in my closet wearing too much cologne and engaged in a house music battle.4:44 PM Dec 19thfrom web
According to European size charts you can act your age AND your shoe size.8:06 PM Dec 18thfrom web
Maybe I can reassemble what's left of it into a Gingerbread trailer.7:21 PM Dec 18thfrom web
Looks like the Gingerbread house I bought for my nephew is going to need some renovations... part of the roof is now missing.7:13 PM Dec 18thfrom web
