3hoss
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Sometimes life seems so easy, like taking candy from a bunch of stupid ants who think they own everything on the ground.
about 7 hours ago
from Birdhouse
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Probably the happiest day of my life was when I got married, because that was the day I realized I could eat mayonnaise right from the jar.
about 12 hours ago
from Birdhouse
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I hope I never have to use this shirt as a parachute because my wife warned me about wearing mesh tank tops.
5:58 PM Nov 24th
from Birdhouse
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There's no good way to tell someone that you don't love them, and that's why I always carry this parrot.
12:59 PM Nov 24th
from Brizzly
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You can't tell me that, every so often, werewolves don't get really bored of howling and try yodeling instead.
4:36 PM Nov 23rd
from Birdhouse
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I believe in karma because I eat a lot of really spicy Indian food.
1:39 PM Nov 23rd
from Birdhouse
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It's really hard to throw a surprise party for someone with no eyebrows.
5:38 PM Nov 22nd
from Birdhouse
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I get really mad when I see people with signs telling me that the apocalypse is upon us. Man, don't ruin the surprise for everyone!
5:15 PM Nov 20th
from Birdhouse
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I don't know why every Greek tragedy has to end the same way, with me getting distracted after a few pages and watching Silver Spoons.
1:09 PM Nov 20th
from Birdhouse
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It's too bad nobody's been to the center of a black hole, because I bet they have some really crazy raves.
5:34 PM Nov 19th
from Birdhouse
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Even though it's probably less rare, I think I'd rather win the lottery than be struck by lightning 83 times in a row.
12:16 PM Nov 19th
from Birdhouse
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Violence usually begets more violence, and that's why violence should always wear a condom.
5:13 PM Nov 18th
from Birdhouse
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It's funny to think that cow babies still use their mouths to milk a cow, instead of their hands like a normal person.
12:13 PM Nov 18th
from Birdhouse
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I think I'll continue my personal policy of not clapping at the end of a eulogy.
6:02 PM Nov 17th
from Birdhouse
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I wonder what people did for human contact before we invented public transportation.
1:13 PM Nov 16th
from Brizzly
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Mass appeal isn't for everyone.
6:46 AM Nov 16th
from Birdhouse
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If you were the king and your country was on the verge of civil war, I think a good idea would be to make it shirts versus skins.
5:09 PM Nov 15th
from Birdhouse
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If you punch a mime and he doesn't cry or yell in any way, I think you should just punch him harder next time.
11:48 AM Nov 14th
from Birdhouse
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If there's one thing that can really ruin a romantic night out, it's scabies.
6:34 PM Nov 13th
from Birdhouse
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Call me crazy, but I think there should be some kind of law that prevents dogs from wearing lederhosen.
5:25 PM Nov 13th
from Birdhouse
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- Name Eric Hoss
- Location Parts Unknown, Michigan
- Web http://randomsequ...
- Bio No one approves of his beard.
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