140minutesto12
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Rediscovering, he pounced on the walrus. It quivered with idiosyncratic poop deck. It all made sense, you had to be spicy.
3:08 PM Aug 20th
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@ Paul drove his Yellow Submarine to the land of M'gm't, but everyone was dead from the weaselcatcher and his electric nets...
8:20 PM Jun 12th
from web
in reply to briiiannuhhh
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@ The opium labs, feeling all too left out, grew feet from their foundations and gave chase to the police. "NOTICE US!"
8:18 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to dustindeckard
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@ There were too many peas... far too many peas... and no apology could amount to their redemption. The world had to collapse.
8:16 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to 21skulls
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@ The Bottom Chefs, angry that nobody would acknowledge or aspire to their standards, slashed their wrists and served them piping hot.
8:15 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to IkeB3
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@ The Walrus and the Carpenter eventually did round up and systematically turn every grain of sand into sandwich meat...
8:13 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to Donald_Serrot
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@ But what did she expect, after the surgery had made her teeth into ivory torpedoes of HATE and her facial hair sharpened.
8:12 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to amandangleslow
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@ He flew the flaming tweet-cards about the table. "LOOK AT THEM!" he screamed. "LOOK AT THE DECK, YOU HEATHEN GOAT SPANKERS!"
8:09 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to m0rgan11
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@ But the Million Chameleons ignored his plea. The artificial walrus meat seeped from his ear as the world turned to the lizards...
8:03 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to JymPap
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@ The Lord, following his defeat, had disembarked on a crusade for Scotland, and was replaced by the greedy Prince Vomit.
7:59 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to Redwinghockey71
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@ Super Mario raised the grail from the hands of the Chaos Lord, and nothing was the same for the Mushroom Kingdom, until the fires.
7:58 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to pmoutzo
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@ As crying, screaming faces of mangled flesh rose from the NHL, it was then that Hockey became all too dangerous...
7:57 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to DerekMosher
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@ "The only good Lambert is a damn Lambert!" said the old man, shooting his whiskey and taking one last drink from his gun.
7:54 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to babybritney
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@ As Adam flung himself off the cliff and crimson wings sprouted from his back, the night sucked a little less. Or more.
7:54 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to some_lauren
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@ But the Pittsburgh penguins were fucked, even as she said those words. The zoo was never the same, and neither was Mr. Pengy.
7:51 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to Maylee92
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@ While he held the Stanley in his fist, Fleury wondered if the hand would ever grace the Holy Grail. He vomited at the thought.
7:50 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to DanOCan
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@ "It doesn't suck to be me," said Hossa to himself, as he reloaded his assault rifle in the penguin exhibit of the Detroit Zoo.
7:49 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to VJensen
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@ And as the twits rained down from the gravestone-gray sky and poisoned our minds with ignorance, the twitpocalypse was nigh.
7:47 PM Jun 12th
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in reply to newtongimp
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@ "The Pens are mightier than the swords," said the prophet, as the Stanley Cup ended. The prophet then was fried in dog oil. Eep.
7:45 PM Jun 12th
from web
in reply to BarbFullen
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Tell Gov. Arnold that I'm too spicy to be eaten with the Mongolian fingers.
7:40 PM Jun 12th
from web
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- Name David R. Hughes
- Bio This is a Twitter blog of jokes, stories, and abstractions - all under 140 characters and sometimes in response to other tweets.
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